Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
