I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize