Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
