# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I still have a little drunk in my system
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
