My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Randomize
