when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
