would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
