so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize