I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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