Don't you send me to vm
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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