This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
