how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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