Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
