Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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