he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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