Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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