just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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