just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
