Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize