The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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