Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
