There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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