No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
