Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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