Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
