ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
