he shaved USA in his pubs
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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