She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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