i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
