Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
