Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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