And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
