i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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