before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
