I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
