Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
it's like iHOP with fire
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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