he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
