some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize