A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
