yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He passed out mid-signature
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize