he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
