i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
