in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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