im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
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