we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
So apparently I’m into choking now
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
