i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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