I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
two words: eviction party
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize
