physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
