I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
