every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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