i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
