Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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