Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize