the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Randomize
