Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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