I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Randomize