Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
