Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
