sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
