I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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