No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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