I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Welp...herpes.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
