Me too!
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize