wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
