good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize