You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
