I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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