Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
