Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize