Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
