I'm pants shitting drunk right now
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
