hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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