is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize