just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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