Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
